It is Sunday afternoon and I just took a long nap. Seems to be the main side effect this go around from chemo #2. Really no bouts of nausea, no headaches, no ear pain, throat slightly irritated. The bone pain was more pronounced starting Friday night into Saturday. The base of my neck, down my spinal column, and my pelvis were achy. Not so much that it made me cry just achy. You've noticed I haven't mentioned my other issue....constipation. Hmmm that one seems to be more under control but far from being not a problem. Just kinda figuring that one out but if I get nervous I might have to go to the "big guns", Phillips milk of Magnesia. This must be one of those medicines where you stop in mid sentence and say to yourself, "where's the nearest bathroom?". It should since the label says, "this product usually produces bowel movements in 1/2 to 6 hours." in other words, don't be too far from a bathroom because you don't know when it's kicking in! Yes I know gross but sometimes the stuff you have to go through you just need to find something humerous.
My main side effects that I'm experiencing is that I'm very shaky, easily winded, simply weak, and my choice of food options are very distinct as to what sounds good or not. That turkey,jack,and cranberry on a soft roll from Dominica's downtown is my go to sandwich. For whatever reason, that sounds so good about Saturday afternoon after chemo. I go with the thought, what ever sounds good and makes you happy, eat it.
So,if the rest of the chemos are like this, I can do this. I had mentioned to Frank the other day if the chemo were going to be like the first one, I really think I was going to have a breakdown before each treatment because that was simply hell those 2 days. So don't know why it's so different but I am so thankful it is.
I went out in public today with my hat and close shaved head under. Felt weird. Maybe it was me but I felt like people were staring. Once I'm feeling better, I'll carry myself with more confidence and I'm sure that will have an effect also since I won't be sick looking. I have decided that scarves make me look sick. I like the caps. Their cute. As for my head getting cold, yes it does! I have a ski beanie that's white with 2 string pom pom balls that hang off the ends that I wear to bed. I just sleep sounder with a warm head.
Looking in the mirror the first time with a shaved head, partial reconstructed breasts was difficult. As I looked at myself close in the mirror I noticed my wrinkles were more pronounced along with my age spots. One positive out of this is that my blue eyes stand out more then ever, especially if I wear a blue cap. Even my kids mentioned it. So if you need to find something positive, here it is...I'll just have to do the best I can to accentuate how blue they are.
So, for now, all is good or as good as can be. I will be under self quarantine again this week since my white blood cells will fall to almost zilch, same with my platelets. Hmm what to do, what to do....
Keep me company as I travel thru my journey facing breast cancer again.
Why would anyone want to read about someone else's problem when you have plenty of your own? Maybe one day a loved one, a friend, or you will be diagnosed with breast cancer. My blog might offer insite into cancer resources, thoughts, questions to ask, or guidance in helping you deal with this disease. These are my experiences and suggestions. Every breast cancer is different. If you are touched by breast cancer, be sure to consult your Dr. for direction in treatment.
I equate my blog to the emergency evacuation instruction the flight attendants do before you take off on an airplane. Nobody pays attention to them but when your plane is about to crash you think, "sh*t, why didn't I pay more attention to them? Which color cord do I pull first again?" We have so many things going on in our lives that one more thing to dwell on that doesn't apply to us right now may not be important but when it does, we wish we would have paid attention.
My blog is something you might read a couple times or maybe follow. Hopefully you gain some knowledge about breast cancer, in particular, Invasive Lobular Carcinoma (ILC). It is the 2nd most common type of invasive breast cancer however it only accounts for approx. 10% of all invasive breast cancers. It is the silent breast cancer. It is generally not detected with a mammo but rather an ultrasound. Invasive Lobular Carcinoma (ILC) is what I have been diagnosed with. My suggestion to every woman who is of mammo age insist on an ultrasound with your mammos.
UPDATE 3/2011
I have had my bilaterial mastectomy and I am recovering. ILC is a sneaky cancer as I said above. My various Dr.'s here and at UCSF confirmed the size of my tumor should be between 2.5cm-3.5cm with possibilty but not most likely, 7cm. After my surgery, my tumor was confirmed to be 11cm. My Dr.'s are very knowledgeable and are on top of things. This is simply the truth about ILC. I had mammos every 6 months, ultra sounds, and MRI's. With all of these, it was not picked up until 1/2011. The good news, if you can call it that, only 1 sentinel node out of 2 has micromastic findings and 5 aux. nodes were negative.
Be sure to start my adventure from the blog history on the right. I have tried to bold points to make it easier to extract the important information. If there is anything you get out of this blog, refer to my Dr.'s listed below if you know someone who has been diagnosed with breast cancer in the East Bay. These Dr.'s; Dr. Gottlieb, Dr. Wotowic, and Dr. Sherman are my 3 musketeers....all for 1 and 1 for all!
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