Things are going well. I'm still on pain killers at night but I have moved to over the counter strength Tylenol during the day. With the painkillers, Oxcodone, I've been having some really weird dreams at night, so weird that I can't figure out if I'm in a dream or not and have found myself standing disoriented in my room. Then the dreams started happening during the day when I was napping, weird. What I've found really strange is that I'll doze off holding stuff in my hands and then I wake up still holding the stuff. It also seems as if I've been asleep for hours but I check the clock and I've been asleep maybe 10 minutes. Someone mentioned maybe it throws me into a deep REM sleep, short but deep. Don't know but odd.
I've been living in my recliner chair. It has become a love hate relationship. I look at it with contemp but after I've walked or tried laying in my bed, the feeling of being uncomfortable comes over me and I retreat to my chair. So I spend my day and my nights sitting/reclining in this chair.
When friends visit they get to visit me in my bedroom. We had the chair downstairs and there was just too much going on. I found myself getting up more often, twisting and turning to look at whichever child and simply it was loud. So I can doze off, watch TV, look at magazines in peace upstairs. It's odd for people to walk in here but once we are seated and chatting away, it doesn't matter.
The dinners and driving help we have been receiving have been a godsend. The dinners especially for Grant are important. He comes home from swim practice about 9:15pm and he has a warm hearty meal awaiting him. We all have enjoyed tasting the dinners that are not from our usual menu.I have my spread sheet on the front door so everyone can check who is driving who and what time dinner is coming and by who. I have reminders around the house "don't forget Bode" so the kids remember to let Bode of the garage in the mornings. their greatest incentive is that I am not cleaning up the garage if he has an accident, they get too!
All in all, things are going well. The ace bandages wrapped around me are more of a discomfort of being tight then hurting me otherwise. My swelling has gone down and I don't hear the liquid moving around the top of my chest area. My drainage vessels are constant and remain pinkish. I have been doing nothing but sitting, keeping arms by the side but I'm afraid I won't be getting the drains out anytime soon. I'm supposed to be down to 20cc for a 24 hour period but I'm still around 80cc per side. If the drainage is removed early, I run the risk of enema of the breast, which is swelling of this discharge fluid since it has no way of leaving my body.
I have my 1st Dr.'s appt today with my reconstruction Dr. . I might get to have the drains taken out but I do think I get my ace bandage off and will need to have a soft front opening bra with me. This will also give me my first look at what is left. Frank and I have been through a lot the last week and we have made it thru laughing and crying together. I have a feeling this may be one of our challenges seeing what is left with all the surgery incisions. As my Dr. said so straightforward, "don't be shocked by what you see" is an indication of what to expect so we are ready.
Keep me company as I travel thru my journey facing breast cancer again.
Why would anyone want to read about someone else's problem when you have plenty of your own? Maybe one day a loved one, a friend, or you will be diagnosed with breast cancer. My blog might offer insite into cancer resources, thoughts, questions to ask, or guidance in helping you deal with this disease. These are my experiences and suggestions. Every breast cancer is different. If you are touched by breast cancer, be sure to consult your Dr. for direction in treatment.
I equate my blog to the emergency evacuation instruction the flight attendants do before you take off on an airplane. Nobody pays attention to them but when your plane is about to crash you think, "sh*t, why didn't I pay more attention to them? Which color cord do I pull first again?" We have so many things going on in our lives that one more thing to dwell on that doesn't apply to us right now may not be important but when it does, we wish we would have paid attention.
My blog is something you might read a couple times or maybe follow. Hopefully you gain some knowledge about breast cancer, in particular, Invasive Lobular Carcinoma (ILC). It is the 2nd most common type of invasive breast cancer however it only accounts for approx. 10% of all invasive breast cancers. It is the silent breast cancer. It is generally not detected with a mammo but rather an ultrasound. Invasive Lobular Carcinoma (ILC) is what I have been diagnosed with. My suggestion to every woman who is of mammo age insist on an ultrasound with your mammos.
UPDATE 3/2011
I have had my bilaterial mastectomy and I am recovering. ILC is a sneaky cancer as I said above. My various Dr.'s here and at UCSF confirmed the size of my tumor should be between 2.5cm-3.5cm with possibilty but not most likely, 7cm. After my surgery, my tumor was confirmed to be 11cm. My Dr.'s are very knowledgeable and are on top of things. This is simply the truth about ILC. I had mammos every 6 months, ultra sounds, and MRI's. With all of these, it was not picked up until 1/2011. The good news, if you can call it that, only 1 sentinel node out of 2 has micromastic findings and 5 aux. nodes were negative.
Be sure to start my adventure from the blog history on the right. I have tried to bold points to make it easier to extract the important information. If there is anything you get out of this blog, refer to my Dr.'s listed below if you know someone who has been diagnosed with breast cancer in the East Bay. These Dr.'s; Dr. Gottlieb, Dr. Wotowic, and Dr. Sherman are my 3 musketeers....all for 1 and 1 for all!
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