My mom says, "The family is as healthy as a horse"....really? I would hate to find out what you think unhealthy means.

In 2008 Dr. Gottlieb asked me, do you have any family members that have had breast or ovarian cancer? No, I wasn't aware of any. I still posed the casual question to my parents. I did not want to tell them what I was going thru. They had enough to worry about of their own. So I asked my mom and dad, "so out of curiosity, how's the health of the family in Europe?" My mom's response, "they are as healthy as a horse". My dad, "well you know I have prostrate cancer and I lost a couple brothers to prostrate cancer and Parkinson's".
I took that news back to my Dr. My family in Europe are healthy other then prostrate cancer and Parkinson's.  That was the end of that.
This go around with my breast cancer, my Dr. strongly suggested I have genetic testing done for the BRCA gene.  BRCA testing determines if you carry the gene that can mutant into breast or ovarian cancer. A woman's risk of developing breast and/or ovarian cancer is greatly increased if she inherits a BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutation. Men with these mutations also have an increased risk of breast cancer. Both men and women who have BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutations may be at increased risk of other cancers. 
The genetic counselor, Margo from the John Muir Cancer Institute, gave me a sheet of paper that I was to fill in. History of my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. Names, ages, death of age, reason for. I again posed the question to my parents but used the excuse my Dr. had said I needed to get all this in writing since I needed a complete history for my medical file, especially since all my family was split between Denmark and Germany. My parents and my sisters were the only ones here in the US. My parents bought this excuse and began to tell me my family's medical history. As she divulged her family medical history to me I thought, if what my mom considers healthy, I am afraid to know what she thinks unhealthy means.
So I began. Mom, tell me about your family. As she began in detail about my grandparents, uncles, aunts and my cousins, a mixed emotion started to arise in me, anger and sense of dread. My grandmother had died of Ovarian cancer, Grandfather lung cancer (she said because of mustard gas from the war), aunts had died of ovarian cancer and breast cancer. One aunt I lost at the age of 35 because of Ovarian cancer. Uncles had died from various causes, WWII or prostrate cancer. I also discovered there was an uncle I never knew I had. I was stunned to learn all this.
As I started with my dad, I thought this shouldn't be bad. Dad is usually more open then mom. My grandmother died of Ovarian cancer and breast cancer. My grandfather, prostrate cancer. Uncles; prostrate and Parkinson's. I lost a cousin to breast cancer and another cousin had a mastectomy because of breast cancer.
After I finished talking with my parents that night, I cried thinking I had to be BRCA positive with this history. I was so angry that they had not said anything the first go around. If I had known, I would have had the genetic test done in 2008, thus saving me time. I slowly realized I shouldn't be angry with them. I should have pushed them more about their history. Their generation kept things to themselves. An illness like cancer was just considered one of those things that you die from, part of getting old, nothing unusual. Each generation has begun to open up more about "stuff". Case in point, I'm writing about my breasts to absolute strangers and worse, people I will see at social gatherings or my kid's sporting events!
My next calls were to my sisters. I gathered their medical histories, with the same excuse I used with my parents. My sisters were not quite as gullible especially since they knew I had "a bout" with breast cancer before but they gave me their medical histories. It is vital you know your family's medical history, if not for you but for your children. This is so important not only for breast cancer, but prostrate cancer, heart disease, Parkinson's, and a myriad of other diseases.
I faxed the genetic counselor with all this information and meet with her the next day. She showed me this chart she had created showing the various sides of the family with the cancer findings and said, you possibly have approx. 25% chance of being BRCA positive and a 75% chance of being negative. Again, I was stunned. The odds were not in my favor, which was a good thing!
I had blood drawn and the sample was sent off to the lab. Apparently there is only 1 lab in the country that does this testing and it typically takes 3 weeks for the results. It was just another test that I had to wait for the results of to determine my future. No only did it determine my future but the future for my sisters, my daughters and sons, and my niece.
If it were positive I would seriously consider a removal of my ovaries since the estrogen produced serves as a feeder to the cancer cells. I was OK with that at this point. My greater concern was for my children. If I were positive, what about my girls? What would this mean to them and their future? Should we have them posted for BRCA as well? If their test came back positive what would we do, tell them in their 20's and have them live with that sense of dread the rest of their lives or worse they make the decision to have a mastectomy or hysterectomy at a young age. This gene affects my sons as well. They too could develop breast cancer and other cancers or they simply would become a carrier that would pass the BRCA gene onto their children. So many factors to consider and I think the worst of it would be that I passed this gene to them and have put them at risk for this disease.
 The weeks went by and finally the results came it. I was negative. Incredible. With the history of my family, my test was negative. My sisters more then likely would be negative. They were older then me and if they had no signs of breast cancer up to this point, then more then likely the did not carry the BRCA mutant gene. Am I out of the ball park with developing cancer, no. Are my children out of the ball park from developing cancer, no. Their chances are slightly higher then the general public because I have had cancer. They will have to be more diligent about the following thru with check ups. When they are older, they also should have a cancer reassessment done of them that will determine the percentage risk of developing cancer which is based on a number of factors; i.e. the age they started their period, age they had children, and a list of other questions.
As for me, there obviously is something that is causing cancer to develop in me and if we had the answer as to how, then breast cancer would not be a problem.