one more chemo...one more chemo...

One more chemo. That's all I tell myself. When I get aches and pains, or I get

aches in my stomach or pelvis area, or the hot flashes, I remind myself the worst of it is behind me. I have one more chemo, radiation (28 days/m-f), exchange surgery from expanders to saline implant, exchange surgery from saline to silicone, nipple reconstruction surgery, and finally the tattooing of the aereola. At least I think that's the order. If all goes right maybe I'll be done in Dec.

I do finally feel the cumulative side effects of all the chemos. I am weaker. I

have a fatigue that won't go away. I'm grouchy more because I snap at Frank. We never fight except when he drives ( he drives like a madman but as he points out, he hasn't been in any accidents- Nevermind the trail of destruction behind him) 

I know I am getting physically weaker because I feel it at my Pilates class.

During the first regime I could feel my strength improving. The regime caused

nausea and overall yucky feeling for the few days after but then I was done.

This regime lingers with fatigue. Things I was able to do in class a month a go

are a struggle to do and I haven't missed a class, well I've rearranged them

sometimes when I haven't felt well enough to go.The AC regime I found myself hungry or craving things when the nausea would pass. This regime has shut off my desire to eat. I have to force myself to eat. Nothing at times seems appealing and it's not because of nausea. I just don't feel like eating. So when I don't eat, I get sick. Crazy cycle.

You would think if I was fatigued I'd be sleeping all the time but I'm not. I

just don't feel like doing anything but laying down. The afternoons are the

worst. If I do a big adventure in the morning I am physically feeling sick in the late afternoon.  Trying to keep up with the hydration also since I forget to keep drinking water. So I need to plan my days and get as much as I can get  done in the mornings since I know I will be feeling not so great in the afternoon.

My hair is very slowly coming back but it's not really hair. It's fuzz here and

there. I have started to lose my eyebrows and eyelashes-go figure! I seem to

have a half brow on my right side and a very sparse brow on the left. My eye

lashes have thinned out also. I can tell when I put on mascara. I am calling the plastic surgeon to get started on Latisse. It makes your eyelashes longer and thick. It is used for chemo patients as well but it is not covered by insurance. It is thought of as a cosmetic procedure. 

Funniest thing! We went as a family hot airballooning-up at 4:00am....talk about not feeling good in the afternoon, I was a zombie by noon. Part of the package they do is take pics of you in the balloon as it lifts off. Well we had to share the basket with a family from  England. So as we were lifting off the photographer is snapping away and I was thinking he was taking pics of just our family so I whipped my hat off figuring what the hell maybe we will use this as our Xmas card. Well once we viewed the pics it included the other family. Imagine their surprise seeing all of us complete with the bald lady.  Classic submission to Awkward Family Pictures! don't think they purchased that photo as a memory Keeper.

So, one more chemo...one more chemo....