Recovering great from the exchange. Incisions have healed. The shape is good but that will change as I go through radiation and the scar tissue begins to form through this process. At my last appt with my plastic surgeon he gave me some sort of lecture that scared me. I think it was more a stress thing for him. He was leaving the country for the month and he is so protective of his patients hes worried about something going wrong. So he tell's me things look good however I am to not lift weights, do excessive usage of my arms. He was concerned about the inside tissue becoming infected since it is raw. He went on to say it could turn into sepsis which could lead to death- is he serious??? What type of scare tactict is this? Well it worked. I'm being very careful about moving my arms and I haven't started radiation yet. That's next week.
Hair is finally growing back. The back of my head is getting really full so you don't see my head. The front is thinner but slowly filling in. It is grey with some blond. Once it's longer I'm coloring it. I am losing my eyebrows still. I use an eyebrow pencil to fill in where the brows are supposed to be. My eyelashes have thinned. When I put mascara on, they fall out. I know the hair is growing but I wish it would go faster. I also wish people would stop looking at me. I wish in conversations, people would stop asking, how are you? It's getting really old. I know people mean well but I'm trying to move on with my life. I'll not have thought about me,my looks, my future with cancer until a stranger says something, "your going through chemo" then I have to repeat my life story once again. I know I sound rude but sometimes I just like to retreat to my home where I can go hatless and just do my thing. I'm not becoming a recluse but I'm ready to do my thing without anyone giving me the extended look.
I might be grumpier then normal since I have a big task ahead of me for the local school. It's not like it's anything diffferent then someone who has to deal with projects at work but it's just starting to bother me. My neck is sore in the afternoons, I'm getting headaches now. I know it's not a sigh of anything to do with cancer, it's just stress. It will be over soon and I'll be passing the torch. Then I can start my life unattached to obligation.
I find it interesting the different paths cancer surveyors take. Some become big vocal advocates about breast cancer. Some people feel the need to climb Mt. Everest, run 6 marathons in a year, live a life that takes them to the edge. I'm still uncertain where or what I want me life to be after I finsih my treatments. Do I want to just cruise through life and enjoy every blissful moment or do I want to be busy event minute searching for things to do that can bring me to the brink of heart pounding excitement. You wonder sometimes,maybe I should conquer as much as I can because I don't know what news will come at the next dr.s appt.
Yes I know I'm venting. I'm frustrated and tired of being a cancer patient. I want to be normal again in my appearance.
Keep me company as I travel thru my journey facing breast cancer again.
Why would anyone want to read about someone else's problem when you have plenty of your own? Maybe one day a loved one, a friend, or you will be diagnosed with breast cancer. My blog might offer insite into cancer resources, thoughts, questions to ask, or guidance in helping you deal with this disease. These are my experiences and suggestions. Every breast cancer is different. If you are touched by breast cancer, be sure to consult your Dr. for direction in treatment.
I equate my blog to the emergency evacuation instruction the flight attendants do before you take off on an airplane. Nobody pays attention to them but when your plane is about to crash you think, "sh*t, why didn't I pay more attention to them? Which color cord do I pull first again?" We have so many things going on in our lives that one more thing to dwell on that doesn't apply to us right now may not be important but when it does, we wish we would have paid attention.
My blog is something you might read a couple times or maybe follow. Hopefully you gain some knowledge about breast cancer, in particular, Invasive Lobular Carcinoma (ILC). It is the 2nd most common type of invasive breast cancer however it only accounts for approx. 10% of all invasive breast cancers. It is the silent breast cancer. It is generally not detected with a mammo but rather an ultrasound. Invasive Lobular Carcinoma (ILC) is what I have been diagnosed with. My suggestion to every woman who is of mammo age insist on an ultrasound with your mammos.
UPDATE 3/2011
I have had my bilaterial mastectomy and I am recovering. ILC is a sneaky cancer as I said above. My various Dr.'s here and at UCSF confirmed the size of my tumor should be between 2.5cm-3.5cm with possibilty but not most likely, 7cm. After my surgery, my tumor was confirmed to be 11cm. My Dr.'s are very knowledgeable and are on top of things. This is simply the truth about ILC. I had mammos every 6 months, ultra sounds, and MRI's. With all of these, it was not picked up until 1/2011. The good news, if you can call it that, only 1 sentinel node out of 2 has micromastic findings and 5 aux. nodes were negative.
Be sure to start my adventure from the blog history on the right. I have tried to bold points to make it easier to extract the important information. If there is anything you get out of this blog, refer to my Dr.'s listed below if you know someone who has been diagnosed with breast cancer in the East Bay. These Dr.'s; Dr. Gottlieb, Dr. Wotowic, and Dr. Sherman are my 3 musketeers....all for 1 and 1 for all!
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