My last chemo..MY LAST CHEMO!!!!! DID YOU SEE THAT...MY LAST CHEMO!!!

Let me start out, Frank never posts anything to fb. He hates it. He thinks it is a waste of time. He is amused with me that I have my friends and I watch what everyone is doing....I like it. It keeps me in touch with frineds when I don't have a chance to talk to them. So that being said....and with the help of our 12 year old he posted this on my wall. 




**********
I have never posted a comment on Facebook but there are accomplishments that deserve to be recognized. Sandy (the love of my life as you all know) has completed sixteen weeks of chemotherapy with an incredible positive attitude, strength, patience and grace that I can’t begin to appreciate or understand. Throughout this scary mental and physically painful process she has kept her sense of humor and a constant positive attitude knowing that there are many others that have gone before her and always thinking – it could be worse. She continues to create a supportive loving environment for our family, life goes on with four kids and teenagers don’t always fully understand the realities and challenges of life. Through her blog (which I have not read) she is reaching out to women around the world sharing her experiences with breast cancer from both a medical and emotional point of view.

You inspire me to be better – I love you very much!


*********


I was speechless. Chemo has been the most difficult thing I have ever had to do in my life. Yes, the mastectomy was pretty bad but managable. The chemo was different. A challenge that at times I wanted to give up because my quality of life just was awful. All you could do was just roll over, take another pain killer or nauesa med but slowly, day by day, you get better and you snap out of it. On my last infusion for AC, just looking at my book bag I brought to infusion or the drive to the Dr.'s office brought nausea to me. That's how bad it became.


So, I am done, let me rewrite that with some more emotion.....


 I AM DONE WITH CHEMO AUGUST 11, 2011!


now let me stand on top of a mountain and yell...


I AM DONE WITH CHEMO


and you know what....you will finish like me, don't worry.

Chemo drug shortage-BE CONCERNED AND ASK YOUR DR!

So, you may have heard this nasty gossip, there is a shortage of chemo drugs as well as other drugs like antibiotics and anesthesia. From what I can gather it is primarily in the US and Canada this is occurring but could have an impact world wide. Simplistic explanation is the pharmaceutical companies don't seem to make enough money on them so they decrease production or stop production. A number of years ago there was legislation where the intent for generic drugs was so that everyone could afford whatever drug that was needed to cure their issue. The problem has become that the generic drugs are not supporting themselves. The costs involved to keep these drugs in productivity exceeded the price sold or profit margins were so slim. The name brand drugs still are produced continue to create a large profit but insurance companies refuse to pay for these more expensive drugs and will only cover generic drugs. A nasty cycle and the loser is the patient. That loser is anyone you know who is fighting cancer and that happened to be me on my last infusion on Thursday 8/11/11. 
Never thought this would affect me but it did. My last infusion, there was no Taxol to be had. I had to take a cousin of it for me to complete my regime on time. I was offered to put off my infusion for a week or two but there was no way I was going to do that. Why risk it not being there. What I suspect could have happened was, my dose was given to someone else who was just starting their regime. Me, being weakened already, the cousin medicine would work just as effective on me. So now the decision of who gets the medicine or not is determined by the Dr. and how well he/she can ration what they have.


 So think about it, what is the moral obligation of a pharmaceutical company to continue to provide life saving medicines that are losing money or not generating profits that meet their goals? Well, there is nothing other then their sense of morals. No one can force a company to make a drug even though it saves lives. That is a scary thought. I am for free enterprise but this almost seems to have a sense of darkness to it or maybe a tinge of blackmail....."I'll make this drug if you (FDA) do this for me" There is legislation  going forward now that the goal is to have the pharmaceutical companies notify the FDA of a possible shortage well before it happens so the FDA can work with other companies to fill the void. Will this concept work? Maybe, but it still is based on the all mighty dollar and where a profit can be made. What happens if all the other companies don't want to pick up the slack?


So this goes back to the insurance companies now. Would this be such a big problem if they covered all prescribed drugs, generic and name brand? What needs to be done is a revision of the The Medicare Prescription Drug, Improvement and Modernization Act of 2003. Read about it in the 2nd article below. This would allow a more level playing ground for these drugs. This Act was a good idea but it's time has come. It needs to go or be radically modified. Less government intervention on pricing and your basic economy class in college comes into play. People are willing to pay a high price to get what they want (name brand drugs) but at some price point, they don't. This holds the pricing down on these drugs. As for the generic, same thing. People (or in this case insurance companies) are willing to pay a certain price and whoever can produce the drug at the least cost or lowest profit margin sells more. Profit margin smaller/lower price=sells more. Higher price/greater profit margin/sells less. Take your pick...which business scenario do you want?


Here are a few links to the current concern. How are they going to fix the supply? Well, their not for quite a while. So be forewarned...ask your Dr. will this shortage have an impact on your regime. 


Huffington Post Article  Explains the basis of the shortage.


Article that explains how government's best intentions have caused this shortage of drugs

one more chemo...one more chemo...

One more chemo. That's all I tell myself. When I get aches and pains, or I get

aches in my stomach or pelvis area, or the hot flashes, I remind myself the worst of it is behind me. I have one more chemo, radiation (28 days/m-f), exchange surgery from expanders to saline implant, exchange surgery from saline to silicone, nipple reconstruction surgery, and finally the tattooing of the aereola. At least I think that's the order. If all goes right maybe I'll be done in Dec.

I do finally feel the cumulative side effects of all the chemos. I am weaker. I

have a fatigue that won't go away. I'm grouchy more because I snap at Frank. We never fight except when he drives ( he drives like a madman but as he points out, he hasn't been in any accidents- Nevermind the trail of destruction behind him) 

I know I am getting physically weaker because I feel it at my Pilates class.

During the first regime I could feel my strength improving. The regime caused

nausea and overall yucky feeling for the few days after but then I was done.

This regime lingers with fatigue. Things I was able to do in class a month a go

are a struggle to do and I haven't missed a class, well I've rearranged them

sometimes when I haven't felt well enough to go.The AC regime I found myself hungry or craving things when the nausea would pass. This regime has shut off my desire to eat. I have to force myself to eat. Nothing at times seems appealing and it's not because of nausea. I just don't feel like eating. So when I don't eat, I get sick. Crazy cycle.

You would think if I was fatigued I'd be sleeping all the time but I'm not. I

just don't feel like doing anything but laying down. The afternoons are the

worst. If I do a big adventure in the morning I am physically feeling sick in the late afternoon.  Trying to keep up with the hydration also since I forget to keep drinking water. So I need to plan my days and get as much as I can get  done in the mornings since I know I will be feeling not so great in the afternoon.

My hair is very slowly coming back but it's not really hair. It's fuzz here and

there. I have started to lose my eyebrows and eyelashes-go figure! I seem to

have a half brow on my right side and a very sparse brow on the left. My eye

lashes have thinned out also. I can tell when I put on mascara. I am calling the plastic surgeon to get started on Latisse. It makes your eyelashes longer and thick. It is used for chemo patients as well but it is not covered by insurance. It is thought of as a cosmetic procedure. 

Funniest thing! We went as a family hot airballooning-up at 4:00am....talk about not feeling good in the afternoon, I was a zombie by noon. Part of the package they do is take pics of you in the balloon as it lifts off. Well we had to share the basket with a family from  England. So as we were lifting off the photographer is snapping away and I was thinking he was taking pics of just our family so I whipped my hat off figuring what the hell maybe we will use this as our Xmas card. Well once we viewed the pics it included the other family. Imagine their surprise seeing all of us complete with the bald lady.  Classic submission to Awkward Family Pictures! don't think they purchased that photo as a memory Keeper.

So, one more chemo...one more chemo....